Real Me vs. Better Me (part 1)

Maybe it's because I have a pretty significant birthday coming up in 2013… I feel this sort of mid-life drive to examine myself and where I am. Every day, I vacillate between self-acceptance (Real Me) and self-improvement (Better Me). I don’t think that I am alone. I’m getting better with the former. I try to thank my body more and scrutinize it less. It’s a grim fact that my husband’s livelihood depends on bodies that fail. So any day that we are not sick or in the hospital is a day to celebrate! I thank God for every migraine-free day. Try it. When you feel a criticism coming on (“my thighs are flabby, my boobs are too small”), switch gears and thank your body for something. I wonder if our hearts are like, “hey, how about a little gratitude in here? I’ve been pumping blood for 39 years without a break!” (For some reason, my heart says that in a New York dialect.)  

I’m also letting go of that dreamy, domestic-bliss life – the elegant, uber-crafty, gourmet life that I pinned on Pinterest – and I’m learning to feel content (and proud) of the life I can actually achieve. I'm trying to rid myself of those near-panicky impulses to buy something to fill a void or soothe an insecurity. Make me look younger! Make our home organized! Make my skinny jeans fit. (There is a product developed specifically for shrinking mommy-bellies called: It Works! What marketing genius came up with that?) It makes me sick how much pressure there is to get your body “back” after pregnancies. I digress. 

I recently read a witty and clever article by Amber Dusick (author of the blog Parenting; Illustrated with Crappy Pictures) about the pursuit of the elusive product of happiness. I laughed out loud at her sketch of a woman cradling a crock-pot in arms with the caption, “I just know this slow-cooker will change my life.”

http://www.lhj.com/community/your-stories/amber-dusick-shopping-products-change-my-life/

Please take the time to read this, especially if you’ve never read her blog. Isn’t it nuts that we look outside ourselves for happiness when we should be looking inward and upward? I’m guilty. I shop when I have nothing to shop for. I even get a particular itchiness in my bones if I haven’t been to a TJ Maxx or a Marshalls in a while :) Still working on that…