not my best parenting moment

Something about Halloween brings out the 12-year-old boy in me. I get all giddy and prank-y. A better, fancier word (appropriate for 40-year-olds) would be: macabre. Or maybe I never grew out of my short-lived goth phase? Regardless, this poseable skeleton jumped into my cart at Costco and came home with us Monday. He came in a 4-pack of poseable skeletons. Just kidding. (And, yes, I realize it was only September 8. But what if Costco sold out of poseable, life-size skeletons!!?)

S was my only partner-in-crime at the time. We buckled Bonesy into the passenger seat of my van. (Even that made me chuckle.) Before too long a plot hatched in my juvenile brain. Bonesy was going to surprise somebody: IMO, my 9-year-old son. I set him free from the confines of his box so he could stretch his aching bones. We then ascended to the second floor where I positioned him on the toilet in the kids’ bathroom. I was snickering the entire time. The pièce de résistance was the toilet paper gripped in his bony fingers. I could hardly contain my giggles. (I know: What is wrong with me?)    

We picked IMO up after school. I channeled my inner actress and told him how disappointed I was that he forgot to flush the toilet this morning, again. He dutifully trudged up the stairs – me in hot pursuit. He yelped and I got to see his awesome, startled, backwards jump and then he hugged me hard. I was cackling at this point. S and E came upstairs to see what the commotion was about. I was so busy hugging and reassuring IMO that I did not catch S in time. He buzzed past my legs -- straight into the bathroom.

Let me say now that it was NEVER my intention to let S or E see Bonesy on the potty like that. It was for IMO’s eyes only. But I blew it and poor S came flying out of that bathroom like a bat out of hell. He ran past me and down the stairs. His distress triggered E’s empathy and she began yelling and crying, too, pleading, “Get it out! Get it out!”

I felt like the worst parent EVER. It took 15 minutes to get everyone calmed down. Way to go, Mom. Traumatize your 3-year-old with a skeleton on the toilet that he just began using a month ago! Brilliant.

That 12-year-old boy inside of me is in big trouble.

*Bonesy is now sentenced to solitary confinement in an undisclosed location until a date closer to Halloween when he will be slowly, safely reintroduced to the family.
*No child in this story has displayed damage from this episode (so far).